Normal Life

nowaday , I feel bored of my life

wake up , school ,work then back

nothing special in my life

haiz ...when free ?

just lie on my bed listen to the song or study

ish ~

i don't want life like this !!!

breakfast alone ~

lunch alone ~

movie alone ~

tea also alone ~

what the fuck man !!!

everything alone

i think i better die if continue like that

the worse thing is

I started talk to myself when i really got nothing to do

sms to myself

talk to myself

ish ~~~

I'm crazy isn't ?

YES

obviously YES

life

what I can do now ?

everyone just ignore me like that ...

just feel like I totally don't have friend ...

ish ~ message him / her no reply

go to the class sit alone ~ what the hell ...

just fell like I totally don't have friend

haiz ~

fine , just report to myself

today , message to 2 person

both of them din't reply me

but in expected already

the most i love and care she hate me

and she ignore me for many days already

hmmm ~~~

the one had the sweetest memories before

also din't reply me

cause she hate me also

hmmm~~~

isn't i got to have this type of life untill I get old ?

untill I die ?

conversation

I din't sleep for 2 days . why ? because of the call
a guy who always call me every hour ~ ish ~
what the hell
at 12am when I was studying , he called me
J : hel ...hell .. hello .
me : hello :) who are you ?
J : i'm J ... are you still studing in disted college ?
me : ya , why ? anything I can help u ma ?
J : yes , can u study with me ? I study in PTPL
me : erm ~~~~ =.=''
J : sorry !!! sorry !!! sorry !!!
me : why say sorry to me ?
J : sorry , last time i don't know how to appreciate u as a friend
me : erm ~~~ is ok , I never care about it =.=''
J : sorry !!! sorry !!! sorry !!!
me : =.='' sorry J . I'm busy now . can we talk next time ?
J : okok , CN last time you look so handsome when u sit in front of me . you look so smart !!!
Me : ...... ( what the hell !!!)
at 1am when I want stop study , he called me again
J : sorry !!! sorry !!! sorry !!!
me : why you always say sorry to me ?
J : ( continue with his nonsense , sorry for cannot show here)
me : sorry J I still busy right now , an we talk tomorrow ?
at 2am something ~~~ when I was playing games
at 3am something ~~~ when I was still playing games
at 4am something ~~~ when I was watch movie
at 5am something ~~~ when I was in bed ready to sleep
at 6am something ~~~ when I was really really tired
until i switch off my handphone at 7am
oh my god !!!
at 7am I totally awake ald
what the hell J !!!
who order you to do this ?
faster say !!! who ? let me kill the bastard!!!

the way ~

the way for me to stop thinking about something is ~ working non-stop
yes , working non-stop is the best way to stop my brain to think about something
hmmm ... still trying ~~~ hehe
NS gathering ... so sad I cannot attend cause I rejected the invitation already :(
why ? cause of someone . someone who is really sweet with me last time
and ~ that also is one of the memory that i want to put it down and move on ~
My friend told me she said ' I want to go but I won't go if he got go also '
Hmm .. so what to do ? i just can said ' Sorry , i was busy on that day so I cannot make it ' :(
even I really want to go
If you ask me i still love her ? I will tell you NO . Serious NO and i also don't know why I will reject him ...
ai ~

Promised ~

In end of the year 2008 ,
I promised :
' I will love , care and look out for you ...
every moment of your precious life ... '
yes , I do , I promised

In the year 2009 ,
Sorry :
Even we had a not happy memories for the whole year 2009
but I still remember what i promised you ~
but I know you don't care anymore cause I still remember with what u said
' Even I lost you as a friend in my life nothing influence for me cause I don't care and I DON"T NEED friend like YOU '
It's hurt ~ yes , its really hurt and i feel pain in my life
but I don't care about it even no place for me in your heart ~
but you believe an asshole instead of believe me that make me hurt than whatever you said
but you don't know I do care about you behind you just you never realize that ~
but you don't understand me , totally don't understand me ...
I hope ~ I wish ~ a little bit just a little bit please ~ just hope you understand what I did for you
not to make you angry , not to make you pissed off but just to worries about you care about you
yes , mayb i used a wrong mathod to care a people I love ~ what I can said is just ' SORRY '

I the year 2010 ,
Untill now ,
I still mean it , yes , i do
Even I'm no place in your heart ...
Even I'm not important in your life ...
Even I'm just an asshole ...
Even I'm just a kid who never grow up for you ...
Even I'm immature ...
but I don't care ...
I will still love you , care and look out for you
everyy moment in your precious life ...